Skittles of the rainbow
dropping off
one by one into a dark maze
heading to the bottom
of the slate rectangle
that holds this candy
in the palm of it's hand
until it's all eaten by the shark
that controls it's taste.
This poem is different and I think it deserves more explination and detail. My first question is what or who is "It?" "It" holds candy in the palm of "it's" hand until the shark eats the candy. And then, where did the shark come from? What does this shark symbolize or represent? Whose taste does the shark control? And what do you mean by taste? It's such an interesting image, so I think it should be played with a little more so we can see what you're really saying.
I like that you're talking about skittles--I suggest playing with a color theme more or the taste. Since you've got taste later on, I think it would be neat to pick that one. Play with the sourness of the lemon, tart line, sweet cherry, medicine like grape. :) You could go so many diffrent directions by playing off the different taste of each skittle. Keep playing with this piece, it could really be awesome!
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